Did you know that the average three-week old baby can produce up to 14 tons of poop a week?*
Part of becoming a new parent is learning about waste management. Before Hailey arrived, I didn't know a thing about changing babies, but now I am an expert. For instance, did you know that a diaper genie isn't really a genie at all? Some people think its an ethereal being that makes your dirty diapers disappear just by blinking its eyes. Not so. It's really just a glorified trash can. I know, I was disappointed, too.
Anyway, if you are new to changing diapers, like I was, this video should be helpful. “Vanessa” even shows you how to prevent getting getting squirted with urine by utilizing a Karate Kid-style diaper block. The only part that was a bit confusing was when Vanessa says, “If it's a boy, we're going to want to point it so that its down...or up, depending on your boy.” Huh? I guess you should ask your baby how its hanging before you begin.
*This figure is entirely false.
5 comments:
FYI: "Vanessa" was the name of the female villain on MASK, the cartoon show about vehicles that turn into war machines. (No, the other cartoon show about vehicles that turn into war machines.) I guess what I'm saying here is "be wary."
Nice blog. I really did LOL several times.
I remember that show. There was a boy with a robot sidekick named T-Bob, or something similar. I had the green motorcycle that turned into a helicopter. He was a bad guy.
Your are correct! Although I think the green motorcycle was the good guy, and the purple motorcycle was the bad guy.
Stop laughing.
Not to put a damper on all the
"M-M-M-M-MASK!" conversation,
but...
After reading your blog on waste management, I had to share some info that I discovered.
You can pass those disgusting little poop bags on to bless another family through disposable diaper recycling!
Check out how it all works at:
http://www.knowaste.com/knowaste_in_action.asp
There are essentially four by-products:
1. green energy ("green" as in ecologically friendly or is that the color?)
2. biogas (my own personal "system" produces that already)
3. composte (aka ground up sewage fertilizer)
4. organic waste (PC word for "poop")
The plastic, the super-absorbent polymers, and even the water used to hose it all down are all recycled.
I think I'll start one in my back yard!
Greg might be on to something. I did see a a special on a millionaire that made his money selling worm poop.
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